My dog has fully mastered Newton's first law.
An object at rest stays on the couch.
Exhibit № 1 · The Science Lab
The Science Lab
Peer-reviewed groaners. Results reproduce every time. 20 original exhibits — tap a setup for its punchline.
Whenever something breaks in the physics lab, they blame gravity.
It's always willing to take the fall.
Exhibit № 2 · The Science Lab
Why did the beam of light get detention?
It kept bending the rules in glass.
Exhibit № 3 · The Science Lab
I threw a party at absolute zero.
Absolutely nobody moved.
Exhibit № 4 · The Science Lab
Never lend your car to a particle physicist.
They can't stay off the accelerator.
Exhibit № 5 · The Science Lab
Why is tungsten the hardest element to talk about?
It's a real tungsten twister.
Exhibit № 6 · The Science Lab
How did the ice cube pass the states-of-matter quiz?
It knew the material cold.
Exhibit № 7 · The Science Lab
I told my best joke to an atom.
It laughed so hard it split.
Exhibit № 8 · The Science Lab
Why did the amoeba fail its driving test?
It couldn't stop splitting lanes.
Exhibit № 9 · The Science Lab
Never argue with a microscope.
It blows everything out of proportion.
Exhibit № 10 · The Science Lab
Why do biologists make excellent accountants?
They're experts at taxonomy.
Exhibit № 11 · The Science Lab
Why are lions so good at office politics?
They understand the food chain of command.
Exhibit № 12 · The Science Lab
Rockets have the strangest careers.
They only take off after they've been fired.
Exhibit № 13 · The Science Lab
What does the moon say when it needs help?
Somebody gibbous a hand.
Exhibit № 14 · The Science Lab
Why did the hypotenuse get written up at work?
It kept cutting corners.
Exhibit № 15 · The Science Lab
Why are exponents such good babysitters?
They really know how to raise a number.
Exhibit № 16 · The Science Lab
Why do mathematicians retire at 71?
They want to leave while they're still in their prime.
Exhibit № 17 · The Science Lab
Why are functions the most dependable part of any program?
They always return your calls.
Exhibit № 18 · The Science Lab
I finally moved all my files to the cloud.
The storage is great, but the rent is sky-high.
Exhibit № 19 · The Science Lab
My smart TV tried stand-up comedy.
It kept buffering right before every punchline.
Exhibit № 20 · The Science Lab
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