Our street held a vote for best-decorated house.
It was a landslide, which is also what happened to their porch.
Exhibit № 1 · The Halloween Wing
The Halloween Wing
Costumes, carving and the neighbourhood arms race. Groans after dark. 45 original exhibits — tap a setup for its punchline.
I went to the party dressed as a lighthouse.
Nobody came near me, but everyone knew exactly where I was.
Exhibit № 2 · The Halloween Wing
The haunted house failed its inspection.
The inspector wrote it up for several creaking violations.
Exhibit № 3 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the pumpkin drop out of the school election?
It had no stem to stand on.
Exhibit № 4 · The Halloween Wing
Our ghost took a job reading the news.
He is very good at going through a wall of text.
Exhibit № 5 · The Halloween Wing
The witch opened a laundromat.
Everything comes out slightly cursed but beautifully folded.
Exhibit № 6 · The Halloween Wing
I asked the mummy how the renovation was going.
He said he was completely wrapped up in it.
Exhibit № 7 · The Halloween Wing
Why was the black cat hired as a proofreader?
She crosses paths with every mistake.
Exhibit № 8 · The Halloween Wing
My son wore a costume made entirely of receipts.
He went as the true horror of October.
Exhibit № 9 · The Halloween Wing
The vampire started a bakery.
Everything is made fresh, but only after dark.
Exhibit № 10 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the werewolf get a library card?
He was going through a phase and needed something to read.
Exhibit № 11 · The Halloween Wing
Our jack-o'-lantern has been slouching all week.
I think the grin has finally got to him.
Exhibit № 12 · The Halloween Wing
The zombie applied for a walking tour job.
He was slow to start but he never stopped.
Exhibit № 13 · The Halloween Wing
I bought a fog machine for the porch.
Now the whole street is a little unclear about my intentions.
Exhibit № 14 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the skeleton skip the buffet?
Nothing on the table appealed to him in the slightest.
Exhibit № 15 · The Halloween Wing
Our neighbour built a graveyard on his lawn out of foam.
The plots are entirely fictional.
Exhibit № 16 · The Halloween Wing
The spider set up shop in the doorway.
She says the location gets excellent foot traffic.
Exhibit № 17 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the ghost join the choir?
He is the only one who can carry a note through the wall.
Exhibit № 18 · The Halloween Wing
I dressed as a bag of leaves.
Everyone said I had really turned over.
Exhibit № 19 · The Halloween Wing
The scarecrow asked for a raise this year.
He argued that he has been standing by the company.
Exhibit № 20 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the candy corn get promoted?
It works well in layers.
Exhibit № 21 · The Halloween Wing
Our bat moved into the attic and immediately hung around.
He has not paid a cent of rent.
Exhibit № 22 · The Halloween Wing
The cauldron company went under.
Their margins were too thin to stir.
Exhibit № 23 · The Halloween Wing
Why was the broom late to the party?
It over-swept.
Exhibit № 24 · The Halloween Wing
My daughter went trick-or-treating as a calculator.
She came home and counted on it.
Exhibit № 25 · The Halloween Wing
The ghost tried stand-up comedy.
The audience saw right through the material.
Exhibit № 26 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the pumpkin patch hire an accountant?
Too many loose gourds.
Exhibit № 27 · The Halloween Wing
Our porch light burned out on the big night.
The neighbourhood took it as a very clear statement.
Exhibit № 28 · The Halloween Wing
The werewolf bought a monthly planner.
He only ever fills in one square.
Exhibit № 29 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the skeleton take up gardening?
He wanted something that would grow on its own.
Exhibit № 30 · The Halloween Wing
I made a costume out of bubble wrap.
It was a hit at every single party.
Exhibit № 31 · The Halloween Wing
The haunted mirror gave up on scaring people.
It could not see the point anymore.
Exhibit № 32 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the ghoul open a shoe shop?
He had a real feel for the sole.
Exhibit № 33 · The Halloween Wing
Our decorations went up in August this year.
My wife described the timing as premature evacuation of the loft.
Exhibit № 34 · The Halloween Wing
The vampire tried a standing desk.
He said it was a nice change from the usual arrangement.
Exhibit № 35 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the witch bring a ladder to the party?
She heard the spirits were high.
Exhibit № 36 · The Halloween Wing
My costume was a traffic cone.
People kept steering the conversation around me.
Exhibit № 37 · The Halloween Wing
The skeleton opened a phone shop.
Every model comes fully unlocked.
Exhibit № 38 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the pumpkin refuse to be carved?
It was having second thoughts about opening up.
Exhibit № 39 · The Halloween Wing
Our ghost is terrible at hide and seek.
He always gives himself away with a sheet of paper.
Exhibit № 40 · The Halloween Wing
The monster under the bed unionised.
He now works strictly nine to five, which ruins the whole thing.
Exhibit № 41 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the raven get the newsreader job?
Excellent delivery, one word.
Exhibit № 42 · The Halloween Wing
I carved a pumpkin to look like my boss.
It has been staring at me disapprovingly ever since.
Exhibit № 43 · The Halloween Wing
The haunted clock stopped last October.
It has been living in the past ever since.
Exhibit № 44 · The Halloween Wing
Why did the costume shop close early?
The owner said he had nothing left to wear.
Exhibit № 45 · The Halloween Wing
More wings: The Thanksgiving Wing · The Christmas Wing · The Classics Hall · The Cafeteria · The Zoo Wing · The Science Lab · The Office Wing · The School Wing · The Garage · The Great Outdoors · The Seasonal Gallery