The Halloween Wing

Our street held a vote for best-decorated house.

It was a landslide, which is also what happened to their porch.

I went to the party dressed as a lighthouse.

Nobody came near me, but everyone knew exactly where I was.

The haunted house failed its inspection.

The inspector wrote it up for several creaking violations.

Why did the pumpkin drop out of the school election?

It had no stem to stand on.

Our ghost took a job reading the news.

He's very good at going through a wall of text.

The witch opened a laundromat.

Everything comes out slightly cursed but beautifully folded.

I asked the mummy how the renovation was going.

He said he was completely wrapped up in it.

Why was the black cat hired as a proofreader?

She crosses paths with every mistake.

My son wore a costume made entirely of receipts.

He went as the true horror of October.

The vampire started a bakery.

Everything's made fresh, but only after dark.

Why did the werewolf get a library card?

He was going through a phase and needed something to read.

Our jack-o'-lantern has been slouching all week.

I think the grin has finally gotten to him.

The zombie applied for a walking tour job.

He was slow to start, but he never stopped.

I bought a fog machine for the porch.

Now the whole street is a little unclear about my intentions.

Why did the skeleton skip the buffet?

Nothing on the table appealed to him in the slightest.

Our neighbor built a graveyard on his lawn out of foam.

The plots are entirely fictional.

The spider set up shop in the doorway.

She says the location gets excellent foot traffic.

Why did the ghost join the choir?

He's the only one who can carry a note through the wall.

I dressed as a bag of leaves.

Everyone said I'd really turned over.

The scarecrow asked for a raise this year.

He argued that he's been standing by the company.

Why did the candy corn get promoted?

It works well in layers.

Our bat moved into the attic and immediately hung around.

He hasn't paid a cent of rent.

The cauldron company went under.

Their margins were too thin to stir.

Why was the broom late to the party?

It over-swept.

My daughter went trick-or-treating as a calculator.

She came home and counted on it.

The ghost tried stand-up comedy.

The audience saw right through the material.

Why did the pumpkin patch hire an accountant?

Too many loose gourds.

Our porch light burned out on the big night.

The neighborhood took it as a very clear statement.

The werewolf bought a monthly planner.

He only ever fills in one square.

Why did the skeleton take up gardening?

He wanted something that would grow on its own.

I made a costume out of bubble wrap.

It was a hit at every single party.

The haunted mirror gave up on scaring people.

It couldn't see the point anymore.

Why did the ghoul open a shoe store?

He had a real feel for the sole.

Our decorations went up in August this year.

My wife says we jumped the gourd.

The vampire tried a standing desk.

He said it was a nice change from the usual arrangement.

Why did the witch bring a ladder to the party?

She heard the spirits were high.

My costume was a traffic cone.

People kept steering the conversation around me.

The skeleton opened a phone store.

Every model comes fully unlocked.

Why did the pumpkin refuse to be carved?

It was having second thoughts about opening up.

Our ghost is terrible at hide-and-seek.

He always gives himself away with a sheet of paper.

The monster under the bed unionized.

Now he works strictly nine to five, which ruins the whole thing.

Why did the raven get the news anchor job?

Excellent delivery, one word.

I carved a pumpkin to look like my boss.

It's been staring at me disapprovingly ever since.

The haunted clock stopped last October.

It's been living in the past ever since.

Why did the costume shop close early?

The owner said he had nothing left to wear.