Dad Joke MuseumPlease groan responsibly.

The Christmas Wing

Lights that do not work and a tree that leans. Wrapped and delivered. 45 original exhibits — tap a setup for its punchline.

Our tree leans slightly to the left.

We have decided this is a design decision.

Exhibit № 1 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the elf get a job in customer service?

Excellent at handling small complaints.

Exhibit № 2 · The Christmas Wing

I asked the reindeer how the training was going.

He said he was pulling his weight.

Exhibit № 3 · The Christmas Wing

The gingerbread man moved into a new house.

He says the walls are a little too tempting.

Exhibit № 4 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the tinsel take a day off?

It was feeling stretched.

Exhibit № 5 · The Christmas Wing

Our fairy lights work perfectly in the box.

They achieve total failure within nine seconds of the tree.

Exhibit № 6 · The Christmas Wing

The snowman applied for a mortgage.

The bank asked about his long-term outlook.

Exhibit № 7 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the stocking hang by the fire?

It had nothing better lined up.

Exhibit № 8 · The Christmas Wing

My wrapping paper ran out with one present left.

That child now receives everything in newspaper, by tradition.

Exhibit № 9 · The Christmas Wing

The carol singers arrived during dinner.

We joined in rather than admit we were eating.

Exhibit № 10 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the sleigh need a service?

Too much mileage over a single night.

Exhibit № 11 · The Christmas Wing

Our advent calendar was opened entirely on December second.

The investigation continues.

Exhibit № 12 · The Christmas Wing

The chimney sweep quit in December.

He said the season was getting on top of him.

Exhibit № 13 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the candy cane join the orchestra?

It had the right hook.

Exhibit № 14 · The Christmas Wing

My father tests the lights one bulb at a time.

This is now a two-day event with its own snacks.

Exhibit № 15 · The Christmas Wing

The nutcracker went to the dentist.

Purely professional curiosity.

Exhibit № 16 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the ornament feel insecure?

It was hanging by a thread.

Exhibit № 17 · The Christmas Wing

Our turkey and our tree arrived on the same day.

Only one of them is still standing.

Exhibit № 18 · The Christmas Wing

The elf asked for a standing desk.

He was told the whole workshop is one.

Exhibit № 19 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the snow globe get so emotional?

Somebody shook it up right before the holidays.

Exhibit № 20 · The Christmas Wing

My brother wraps presents with an entire roll of tape.

Opening one requires paperwork and a professional.

Exhibit № 21 · The Christmas Wing

The reindeer formed a committee.

Progress has slowed considerably.

Exhibit № 22 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the mince pie skip the party?

It could not face another crowd.

Exhibit № 23 · The Christmas Wing

Our tree stand has never once been level.

We compensate with a phone book from 1996.

Exhibit № 24 · The Christmas Wing

The gift receipt is the most romantic thing in the box.

It says I love you and I respect your judgement.

Exhibit № 25 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the bauble get promoted?

Management liked its reflective practice.

Exhibit № 26 · The Christmas Wing

My mother labels every present in code.

Only she holds the key, and she has lost it.

Exhibit № 27 · The Christmas Wing

The workshop went paperless this year.

The list is now a spreadsheet nobody can sort.

Exhibit № 28 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the fireplace feel used?

One night a year and then total silence.

Exhibit № 29 · The Christmas Wing

Our neighbour's display can be seen from orbit.

He describes it as tasteful.

Exhibit № 30 · The Christmas Wing

The sleigh bells were left on all night.

The horse has requested a transfer.

Exhibit № 31 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the pine tree refuse the job?

It did not want to be tied down for the season.

Exhibit № 32 · The Christmas Wing

My aunt starts her shopping in January.

By December she cannot remember where any of it is.

Exhibit № 33 · The Christmas Wing

The elf asked what happens after the twenty-fifth.

Nobody had the heart to explain inventory.

Exhibit № 34 · The Christmas Wing

Why was the wrapping paper so confident?

It knew it would be torn apart and still be remembered.

Exhibit № 35 · The Christmas Wing

Our cat has claimed the tree as a structure.

Planning permission was neither sought nor granted.

Exhibit № 36 · The Christmas Wing

The mistletoe filed a complaint about workplace conduct.

It was, on reflection, a reasonable point.

Exhibit № 37 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the snowman refuse the promotion?

He did not want the heat that comes with it.

Exhibit № 38 · The Christmas Wing

My uncle reads the cracker jokes with total commitment.

This is the bravest thing I have ever witnessed.

Exhibit № 39 · The Christmas Wing

The tree skirt is doing an enormous amount of work.

It is hiding a stand held together by hope.

Exhibit № 40 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the gingerbread house need repairs?

The roof had a serious icing problem.

Exhibit № 41 · The Christmas Wing

Our decorations came down on the sixth of January.

The tinsel is still in the carpet in August.

Exhibit № 42 · The Christmas Wing

The reindeer wanted a scenic route this year.

Management pointed out the schedule.

Exhibit № 43 · The Christmas Wing

Why did the elf take up carpentry?

It was the only way to get a decent shelf.

Exhibit № 44 · The Christmas Wing

My family agreed to no presents this year.

Everyone broke the agreement, independently, in secret.

Exhibit № 45 · The Christmas Wing

More wings: The Halloween Wing · The Thanksgiving Wing · The Classics Hall · The Cafeteria · The Zoo Wing · The Science Lab · The Office Wing · The School Wing · The Garage · The Great Outdoors · The Seasonal Gallery